On My Mind

At the forefront of the mindAnd still so far away,
These words of mine linger 
As I struggle for something to say.
Some might call me unsocial,
A closed or unfriendly type,
But what they cannot see
Is how I fear being me.
I learn what's acceptable,
By what they don't say;
I see a two way life
Marked for my future.
I cannot live with this heaviness
Of all I see and hear
Welled up inside my soul
Ready to burst from its shell.
I maybe be viewed as moody
Or socially ostracized,
But I will say these words
For I cannot stuff them in another crag
As if to merely hide.