My Alternate Self

                             My Alternate Self

I move in rote action

Across the barren sidewalk

Raindrops hit my cheek

My muscles, tight and weak,

Quiver.

I almost drop my books

Tucked underneath my arm.

I feel the judgmental looks

From warm glazed windows

Forbidden.

Why do I try to fit in?

Or change myself for acceptance?

To have the

Right actions

Right thoughts

Right beliefs.

I fear so much;

I cannot be myself.

The weight of turned backs

Is too much to bear.

I shrink away. 

Submitted.

Inside my soul cries out

Struggling against the norm.

I want to know myself

To let my spirit free. 

Free to be who I am

Without judgment

Without guilt

Without remorse.

I am who I am.

I am free.

Yet al that is seen

Is my alternate self. 

Defeat overwhelms me.

I am stuck in bondage.

A little voice cries weakly.

Free me. 

Mary Beth Weaver

All text "Mhy Alternate Self" is hereby copyrighted by Mary Beth Weaver